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Posts Tagged ‘humour’

Dear Faeries,

What should I do when I need to get away from the computer? It’s such a benefit to me, but sometimes I think I should get away more?

Love, Is my face square yet?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Squarehead,

“NO, don’t get away from it! We love the new book!  We are so proud of you, potter, for getting it DONE!  Keep going.. the novel is nearly done, too!”

“shhh, I’m pretending to be someone else so you can share your other wordly wisdom and enchanting perspectives! ” whispers potter. (that’s what faeries call Janet)

“Oh.”  faeries answer.

“so, what would you tell the world about too much time at the computer?”

“Okay, fine.  Dear Squarehead, go play outside.”  and they add very quickly, “and take the computer with you and write your novel.”

“Hmmph” says Potter  but the coach in her adds:  Readers, computers need naps. Go here to see my sure cure for computer overindulgence.  http://musingalong.wordpress.com/2009/04/15/computers-need-naps-too/

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“Jill is coming, Jill is coming!” cries out a faeriesa’epo]-0]-]ald c while dancing on the keys.

Along comes leprechaun, who is no longer sleeping in the laundry basket after his recent gallavanting. He announces sagely,

Of course she is!  Anyone that magical and who can write about mortals the way she does would end up here!”

“I wonder if she would like some faerie coaching?” faerie in the sugarbowl ponders.

“I wonder if she is a faerie ”  wonders one who is doing things we don’t announce publicly

Whoosh.  Gone.  Going to Jill’s home I suspect.  Hope they are back for the March 5th Blog tour!!!  They love giving away prizes!

28-sp-orange-n-purple

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Hey faeries, just me.   I was reading an entertaining blog by Lynnette Allen http://www.thelifebehindthecoach.com/   when I came across a comment (Oct 9 Poo Rage) wondering if there were Poo Faeries.  Apparently someone’s relative cleans up the dog’s poo, but then throws it in the bushes.  She wondered if her relative thought there were poo faeries who make it disappear.

Now I know that in the ‘nearly complete and ready to submit for publishing’ novel – (good coaching myself, if I announce it often enough, I will get it sent off)- anyway, there is a mention of poo.  So far it’s not been edited out, but I dunno, I kind of think it’s got to go.  The point being however, is I know you don’t ‘have to go’.   “Faeries don’t poo”, you announced enthusiastically.. and since you only eat essence of our treats, why would you poo?

BUT do you clean up dog poo?  There’s more at stake here than someone somewhere else wondering about this.   I am wondering about this.  Because, you know, Casper’s poo disappears.  I generally don’t like to think about where it might be going.  I’d be really happy to learn there are poo faeries.

Background: Casper is a Sheltie. He is very shy and very clean , and so he chose a corner of my yard for his bathroom habits.  This corner of the yard is seldom accessed, except by him. It is not a pathway to anywhere, nobody wanders there because there’s plenty of yard that one more naturally ‘flows’ to, and it is hidden from anyone’s view unless for some reason, one intentionally goes to this part of the yard. 

And so, one intentionally goes there when one has to cut the lawn.  But the thing is, for a dog that poos everyday, (at least I assume so.. because he won’t do it in front of us to prove it to me or anything….)  there’s not much poo there.

Tell me faeries clean up poo, okay?  Tell me there are little faerie energies that flit around with .. umm.. poo zappers.. that magically cause the poo to disappear into the earth and recompost itself into something wonderful.  Tell me you do this because you know, and we don’t, the alchemy of turning poo into gold.. or poo into crystals, or poo into perfect fertilizer.     So, once again, Are there Poo Faeries?

she wants us to say there are poo faeries.  shall we make her happy?   but then… it is a nice size for nuggets of gold……     

poof. faeries gone.  hmmmm…

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So, it seems there is a change in bloggoling events on this site.  Yes, at this moment, the faeries are cheering.  “oh, she finally got it!”  they exclaim, making me smile at their perseverence inspite of me!  Little monkeys.   

so, hello, it’s me. Janet.   To the faeries I am known as potter, aka writer, aka painter, aka coach.

The faeries don’t comprehend our compulsion to name each of us individually.  They are okay with using a term for me… because they discovered it was a challenge for me to get it, if they were referring to me and all I could hear was a wee little musical sound that could not be put on paper.  Unless of course, we referred to me as ‘wee little musical sound”  but then we’d have to refer to them as ‘wee odd little musical sound of sorts.”   And that all gets very confusing.  Just to keep things clear then:  they are faeries. or lately they want to be referred to as realm travellers.  And I am potter, writer, painter or coach.  Yup good and clear now.

Long story behind this whole connection with faerie.  And there is a novel in progress.  And YES, FAERIES, I WILL FINISH IT!!    At this moment faeries are sitting at the edge of my desktop, just above the keyboard, swinging their feet, some looking doubtful.. but only for my benefit.  Those are the ones who’ve hung around for awhile and have picked up some human traits, merely for my entertainment, I think.  

The novel… tells the whole story… quite a bizarre story.  I suspect some of the stories may appear here.  Or not.  Who knows?  I trust whatever the faeries are planning here.  I know they are happy because tonight through a series of events, I’ve learned that the faeries were only doing this coaching blog to get me playing with them in the written area.  Basically to get me to finish the book.   They are particularly fond of the Chapter on Faerie Sex.  And it is perhaps that one that slowed me down.  But yes, we are getting back to it.

But just for now, I’m sharing a story of the mishaps and joyful whatevers.  When I make a pot, I never know what it will be.  I have so many surprises it’s like Christmas.  There  is a chapter called, Whatever, in the book.  I have come to accept that throwing up my arms and saying “whatever” is what opened the door to the faerie realm.  Brats that they were punching holes in my pots and all.  {“Brats?? she’s calling us brats???} With each strange occurrence in the pottery development, comes a story.   Never mind, not going into the whole novel here… but this pot.  This one today.  I don’t know if I’m going to get a sense of it’s story.  It’s a tough one.  While in the Kiln, it had a mishap. Little faerie changed locations.   It will get a story, I’m sure, as soon as I sit with faeries to write it.   But here’s the people side of this little pot’s story so far:

 not dead faerie

“Look, at this, honey”

“oh it’s beautiful, Mom’   I await the response once she looks closer.

“oh, the faerie is dead!”  she exclaims in way that says, “oh my, this is the first ever that i’m not going to encourage her to put it out for sale!”

“hmm, you don’t think she’s doing a triple reverse 360 around the dandelion?”

“no, mom, she looks dead.”

“but faeries don’t die.”

“mom, she looks like she’s dead but her mom is trying to resurrect her.”

(by now we are in hysterics)

“But she’s smiling!”

“she died with a smile on her face, mom”

not-dead-faerie-2.jpg

….I’m still laughing.

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Oh poop.  For a very brief moment as I looked out my window, I felt this joy .. joy for my lovely view of lilac trees and greenery.. and joy because I recognized I was actually pausing and enjoying the view.  You know what I mean. I was ‘in the moment’. THEN I noticed spots on my window.  Uggh. My window needs cleaning.  I didn’t feel like cleaning the stupid window. So I left and did other stuff.   Faeries, I really wanted to just be in that moment!! How can I be in that moment with dirty windows????

Annoyed with me

Dear With Me,

There’s a simple magical fact… that in your world is a scientific fact, we think…. that if you focus further away, things close by that might interfere with your view, simply fade and disappear.  Now just go right back to that window, enjoy the view, and really really enjoy watching the spots fade away!

There’s another thing about spots on windows, too, that might help you.  How did the spots get there?  Are they a symbol of a warm loving kitchen space where food, tea, and sugary things are prepared?  Perhaps sometimes quite enthusiastically and that’s why spots get on the window?  Like a badge of honour?  (coach thinks the faerie answering this must be ‘crashed on her butt’ faerie.. pretty wise in the ways of people!)

That makes the spots pretty special!

{“OR maybe it was me!!! I was playing in her kitchen!” announces a faerie who whooshes in out of nowhere}

Okay, withme, go be one with the window!

Onefully,  a bunch of us

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oh dear. i seem to be distracted from some of what i should be doing. now i am doing less than some and more of none. this isn’t good dear faeries. this isn’t good. but then again it isn’t really all bad … because “isn’t good” sometimes is good because doing less than some is sometimes fun.

Shandee

“faeries! faeries!  gather ’round!…. look she’s a faerie!  she thinks like us, she’s little, she’s a faerie!”  We think you are one of those ‘creative’s’ Coach talks about…..  and to be a faerie to boot…. wow, you are so cool.   So in your distractedness, what interesting things have happened?  think hard, even the littlest wee things?  Tell us true, and we’ll get back to you!
ps. Can we convince you to be  a coach with us?

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Faeries, I think I might have  to quit my English class.  My professor says I don’t have a clue about how to analyze other author’s work.  I say he’s getting his answers out of a book of answers.  And wouldn’t an author rather me be inspired into my own thinking as a result of his work?   I’m on a scholarship.  The professor is giving me really bad marks.  This is simply not good.

sincerely, not good.

Dear Good nut,

“Thankgoodness I was never sent to school. 
It would have rubbed off some of the originality.”      Beatrix Potter

We also think maybe you might want to book a whole great big coaching session.  There’s some big stuff going on here.  Like,  will this professor become your creative monster?  and stuff like that.    Let’s talk.  Call us.   2 am – ish is a good time for us.

OH, to be as brave and creative as you,   faeries

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